


Folly Of Men

by DaleEarwicker46



Series: Tales from Gladiatorville [5]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Boys Being Boys, Boys Will Be Boys, Drunk fighting, Drunkenness, Dryer Antics, Gen, Paintball, Ratball (or footmouse), Right in the groin, Screwing around, Slip n slide, Specially-made drinks, Tampered Soccer balls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-25 05:28:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30084210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaleEarwicker46/pseuds/DaleEarwicker46
Summary: Just the boys screwing around (Mike Df, Ezain, and Ryuken). With Rudy guest starring from Mythlandia (Ch. 1).Btw Mike can detach his head lolSince when was Gladiatorville was hit with the Stupid bomb, huh?
Series: Tales from Gladiatorville [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2227023
Comments: 4
Kudos: 1





	1. R, M, & E

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Deadly_Comedy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deadly_Comedy/gifts).



  1. **Head Roll**




"You sure about this, Mike?" Ryuken asked cautiously as he shut the door to the dryer where the head of Mike Df laid in a pile of clothes, wrapped in bubble wrapping while Ezain stood with his headless body in their laundry room.

"Duh! I've done this like, several times without protection." He replied, his voice partially muffled from the padding over his mouth. "Now do it!"

The blonde shrugged and set the spin cycle to its maximum speed and stood back. The disembodied greenette whooped and cheered from the inside as he started to slowly spin around.

"Have fun. We'll let you out when the dryer stops," He narrowed his eyes at the time remaining on the dryer. "In about 45 minutes."

He turned and left out the room, both of them following behind, Ezain giving his boyfriend's head a worried glance on the way.

They all sit down on the couch, partaking in the program on the TV that showed today's exhibition match. While the two with their heads attached watched on with interest, making small comments on one of the fighters' skills, Mike's body began to squirm a little. They pay no mind to it at first, dismissing it as twitch, until it started to bounce enthusiastically on the couch while pulling at the hem of its shirt and drumming on the stump of where its' owner's head would be.

"You alright, Mikey?" Ezain asked, looking over with an eyebrow raised while Ryuken simply gave the animated corpse a look and shrugged. It frantically gestured to him its finger spinning around while it rubbed its stomach and dipped its stumped neck down and back up.

"What'd he say?" The blonde asked, standing up.

"He said he's gonna toss his cookies all over the new batch of clothes soon if we don't get him out of there in 30 seconds." He replied hurriedly, getting up and marching towards the back with the greenette's body right beside him. Ryuken sighed and got up, following behind the brunette.

When he got there, he looked down to the timer, which had only 14 minutes left, and hastily pressed the stop button. He waited a bit for the soft rumbling to stop before he opened up the door and bent down to fish around in the warm cloth pile before feeling something runny and plastic graze the back of his hand. He felt around it, grimacing at the melty sensation of plastic, finally feeling hair, and grabbed a fistful of it.

Ryuken came in just as Ezain had gotten finished with unwrapping the softened material from around Mike and set him back on his neck with a small click. The guy's hair was frazzled and stuck out in all directions, his face was red, and his eyes spun around in a comical matter before he blinked and they were back to normal.

"So, how do you feel, man?" He asked, already knowing the answer. The lime-haired man looked at him past the brunette, his expression rather calm despite his widened eyes.

"I'm fine." He answered calmly, reaching back to peel a sock off from his head.

"Good God you are, it must've been hot in there- eugh!" Ezain sighed in relief before jumping back as Mike suddenly doubled over, upchucking all over the floor, getting some bile all over his shoes. Ryuken stood out of range, thankfully.

"Yep, definitely fine."

* * *

2 **. Ratball (or Footmouse)**

"Why am I the football?" Rudy complained as Mike taped every part of him he could find onto a football as he removed his bunny outfit against his protests. Before he could go on, a gag was stuffed into his maw, and a badge with a shield glowing yellow placed on his forehead.

"Ah-ah-ah, ratballs don't talk," He said after setting him down facing the opposite way once the three were an appropriate distance from their house at the back. "You two ready? First one to get the footmouse into the house wins."

Ryuken and Ezain nod, their skin beginning to crack and evaporate, leaving them in their cat forms. The greenette joins shortly after, with the rodent unaware of what was to happen next. When he was picked up, he was met with the hungry look of a shamrock-furred cat than the human that had brought him into his dimension.

"Sorry in advance, but at least you won't feel a thing, until that badge pops off somehow."

He squeaked from beneath the gag as he was lifted into the air, struggling against his bonds. His green pupiled eyes dart to the other cats that stood spread out, ready to catch him.

And probably eat him

"Three...Two...One. Catch!" Mike exclaimed as he launched the ball and the rat taped to it high into the atmosphere. The rodent uttered a scream, but the cloth jammed into his mouth muffled it as he flew into the sky and sailed back down, the air blowing past his face. The first one to catch him before he landed was Ryuken, whose claws dug through the tape at his midsection, scraping against it.

He didn't feel it, but it didn't stop him from hyperventilating through his nose. The yellow feline held him underneath his arm as he ran for the open slide doors. Ezain dove at him with a yowl, only to be jumped over and to be stomped face-first into the ground. His clone jumped out just as he landed and tripped one of his legs. The feline yowled as he fell, but rolled and jumped back on his feet and kept running, but stopped when he realized the absence of something under his arm.

"What the-" He couldn't get out another word when the real Ezain sped by with the ratball in his mouth. Ryuken growled and ran after him, shouting foreign obscenities as he went. He got to where his tail was within range and grabbed a hold of it, bringing the brunette to an immediate stop, dislodging Rudy from his agape maw.

He almost burst out laughing when he walked around him and got a good look at his face. His eyes derped out and his tongue hanging from his mouth. He simply snickered and booped his nose before jogging to catch up to the wiggling ball with the rat attached to it, giving him an evil smirk.

"Eek! Please don't hurt me!" Rudy begged as he tried to free himself from his bonds. The blonde cat just rolled his eyes and bent down to pick him up. "Quit whining, you can't even feel pain anyways, at least for now."

He tucked him back under his arm and ran back for the house. When he got within then meters of the back entrance, he felt something ram into his back at full speed, knocking the wind out of him. He landed on the ground, groaning from the sudden pain as he desperately swallowed every bit of air he could get in while his golden pupils stare wide-eyed at the green feline, shouting and yelling in triumph as he ran the remaining distance into the house.

"D-dickhead, you weren't even playing." He coughed out.

"Whoo! Home-frickin' run!" Mike cheered as he waved the rodent around at the two cats glaring at him, even though they both knew it was for fun. "Read it and weep, losers! Read it and weep!" He turned and chucked the ball full force on the floor in his celebration and started busting a move for a split-second before he froze.

"O-ow..." The rodent moaned.

"Oops! Sorry! Uh, you didn't feel that, didya?" Mike apologized as he rushed to Rudy's side and cut him loose with his claws and turned him around on his back and inhaled sharply when he saw the rat had a bloody nose and a chipped tooth.

"No. Until the badge came off." He pointed to where the badge once was.

"Sorry."

* * *

3. ** Sliiiide~**

"There," Mike said after glazing up the last of the stairs with cooking oil. With a small pile of various oils and lubes. He, Ryuken, and Ezain stand up at the top, most of their clothes discarded, save for their socks and underwear, and their bodies shining from all the baby oil they slathered on themselves. "All lubed up."

The brunette crouched down, getting ready. The two he was in between copied him, tensed and ready to spring on their own mark.

1...

2...

They eye each other with narrowed eyes, their nails dig into the floor and they all lean forward.

Aaaaand 3!

Mike pushed himself forward, gliding down the steps as the brunette followed in hot pursuit with Ryuken the last. They all slid, whooping and yelling down the stairsteps as though they were floating at a slow pace that immediately hit high speed. The greenette reached the bottom, not stopping until he slammed headfirst against the wall.

He sat up rubbing the sore spot on his head where he hit it, hissing softly before trying to get up as Ryuken came sliding down towards him.

"Incoming Chest Fuzz!" He exclaimed, crashing into the recuperating greenette, the momentum sending his head dead-center into his crotch. He shouted out in pain as he gripped the blonde's head as they both slipped and slid, trying to separate from each other.

"Watch out!"

Ezain comes in last, sitting up as he slid, knocking into the boys twisting among one another, sending themselves gliding across the living room floor in front of the door.

They all manage to stop in front of it, trying their best to untangle from each other, which proved difficult as their hands were greased up to were trying to get a good hold was useless. By that time, the door had opened, making all three guys stop completely and take notice of their current predicament.

Standing in the door was the mailman with a small package.

"Special delivery for Mike D...f." He trailed off as he looked down at the greenette entangled with two others. His face inches away from Ryuken's nipple, his hand smushed against Ezain's groin. Ryuken, his hand upon his chest as well, and the brunette pressed right on top of the greenster.

Mike looked up, smiling nervously at the man with his package in hand. "U-uh, thanks. Just leave it outside, I'll get it later."

"Ok..." The mailman trailed off as he slowly backed out of the house.

* * *

4\. **Drunk and pissed**

The boys sat in the corner booth of a bar, downing their 4th glass of booze. They were buzzed, yes, but one of them, Ryuken, was barely even fazed. Or was he?

"Ey, you, purple strips." Mike slurred, leaning over to play with his lock of hair. "L-look atcha, dressed like a lil fairy for your stud, ain'tcha?"

Ryuken simply pursed his lips and took another sip from his drink while Ezain stumbled off to either order more drinks or to try and party with the patrons at this disco room that was recently installed. But not before he took the bottle given to him by the bartender, which unbeknownst to him was an Ingot member.

"H-hey, wait for me, Zany," Mike half-shouted- half-burped as he too got up, but fell on all fours. "Zee zany zee zooby zah zuu zee." He instead babbled to himself while the onlookers gave him a weirded-out look. The blonde suddenly felt the alien feeling of discomfort arise and went down to help him up after downing the entire glass and took the half-empty booze with.

"Dude, dude, I think you've had enough. C'mere-"

He didn't finish when the wasted greenette suddenly lashed out at him, catching him across the cheek with a fist. It was half-assed and didn't really sting, but it caught him off-guard and he picked him up and shoved him against the table. He drunk some more and tossed it aside before he went to grab him by the shirt again before he was pushed back and then struck again. Half-assed.

"Geh aweh from- hic\- me, you faireh!" Mike slurred after downing the other bottle of vodka he brought with him and stepped towards him.

Nevertheless, it made him stumble backward and fall over onto a patron, who was revealed to be Nash Barkley. He caught him by the arms and shoved him back towards the rocking greenette that sloppily threw another punch. The blonde evaded, albeit slow and unsteadily, and threw one himself, catching Mike by the chin.

"Oh shit!" Nash gaped as he, among various others watched the two brawl and attempt to wrestle each other to the ground while they recorded the whole thing. Ezain comes back from the room, his hair mused, his flushed face covered in kisses and a signature saying 'AD' on his cheek, his fly partially unzipped, and one hell of a goofy look on his face.

"Worldstar!"

"I bet on the purple one!"

"That green guy's on top!"

His demeanor turns into one of surprise when he not only hears and sees a crowd of people bunched together with their phones out but a mass of green and magenta twisting around on the floor. He ran over when he recognized them as Mike and Ryuken. Though it didn't look like they were punching at each other, they were most likely hugging each other in weird ways.

He got there just as it looked like they were going to make out in front of the crowd egging them on. Luckily for him, they were super wasted because he simply just wrapped his arms around the man flailing his arms all over the other's face while he just pat his neck, drooling out empty threats, and pulled him off.

He didn't put up a fight to try and dislodge from the brunette's grip but kept babbling complete nonsense as he dug around in his head. Ryuken sat up, a half glare and half lust aimed towards his way before he tried standing up.

"Oh yeah, get 'em! Get em!" One guy shouted from the crowd.

Seemingly fueled by the words of encouragement, he dragged his feet sluggishly towards Mike, who had pulled another bottle of vodka from his head and began drinking as Ezain tried futilely to keep him upright. He only managed to make it a few feet closer before suddenly dropping to his knees and falling on his side, conked out. six-and-a-half bottles of scotch and booze don't really help out for finishing a fight, apparently.

The crowd 'oohed' as the bartender stepped through the crowd dispersing and picked up to snoring blonde, slinging him effortlessly over his shoulder as he glared softly at the brunette holding up the now unconscious Mike.

"Um, sorry?" He said sheepishly as he absentmindedly laid down his payment.

"Don't worry about it, it's been a while since we've had anything go on in here." He shrugged, turning to carry Ryuken to the exit, and looked back to the two. "You good to drive em home, man?"

Ezain nodded and followed him out the door to his car. When both passengers were set inside, he bid the bartender good night and drove off into the night. The drive back was rather pleasant without the bickering among men, except for when Ryuken awoke to unload right on the backseat he was in while Mike did so on his lap and went back to sleep.

Man, what a day.


	2. Folly Of Men 2: Fall of IQ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just another day of fooling around but with other chars of mine.
> 
> Appearance in order:  
> (1)  
> Mike Df  
> Chiodo  
> Colleo McCall
> 
> (2)  
> Ryder Nero  
> Leo Cannon  
> Bicchiere
> 
> (3)  
> Sheldon Hertz  
> Arch  
> Uomo Verde  
> Arthur Love
> 
> (4)  
> Alghe  
> Regian  
> Bruno Blues  
> Calcio  
> Bullone  
> Marshall Oscars  
> Grassetto  
> Calcio  
> Joyce James  
> Epitaffio  
> Keith Oggetto  
> Lucas James  
> Dennis Moore
> 
> (5)  
> Nicholas J. Cole  
> Bruno Blues (again)

** 1\. Portals, they suck **

"Portal's set and ready," Mike said, having placed one with a blue and orange piece of chalk he pulled from his head. Chiodo stood on the table blindfolded with his arms crossed.

"Is it really?" The feline asked, a little uncertain of this whole trust portal fall ordeal, seeing as the human was peculiar in more ways than one. "Can I fall now?

"Yep, let 'er rip." He nodded, giving the thumbs-up to Colleo who was poised to push him down.

"W-wait, who's gonna catch me at the exi-" He didn't finish as he was promptly shoved by his owner down into the portal entrance, his shocked yelp cut off as he went through. The greenette hurries outside and scribbles a large orange oval on the driveway.

Standing back, he pockets the chalk and sits down cross-legged on the ground with the ginger behind him. "And now we wait."

"Wait for what? Isn't he supposed to pop out right now?" He repeated, confused.

"Yeah, if I take longer than five seconds to draw and entrance, Chio's gonna be, er, traveling."

"Traveling? Like, how?"

Mike mused his hair around as he hissed, "Well..."

Blue. Blue was all the hunter-green-furred cat could see for quite a while as he swam in pure energy, hearing nothing but the seismic waves until he was met with a sudden rush of air, and the sound of a waterfall.

Working off the blindfold, Chiodo took in his surroundings and his eyes immediately dilated when he saw he was not only high in the air but next to the highest waterfall. A squeak was all he could get out before he plummeted towards the bottom, screaming as loud as his vocal cords allowed for it.

He closed his eyes just as he was mere moments from certain death, bracing for the agony. Before he heard a whoosh and felt nothing. His eyes crack open after several seconds of heavy breathing and he found himself in an all-orange vortex moments before an exit opened up, spitting him out into an open atmosphere filled full of clouds.

"W-what the...Woah! EYAAAAAAAAAH!" He stammered meekly before screaming when he found he was high up in the air, but he wasn't falling. Which was quite the relief but it didn't stop the poor Noxia-cat from pawing furiously at the air in a frenzy as he floated in place.

"S-shit shit shit shit!" He wailed helplessly before stopping dead silent as he heard a loud whirring sound come from behind him. He shakily turned, the color leaving his furred face when he saw an airplane was flying right towards him. As it came closer, his mouth hung open in a silent scream, anticipating his brutal end to be by its engines before he was pulled into the blue void once more.

From there, Chiodo was sent from the blue portal and out the orange into whatever it had opened to, suffering near-death experience after the other. From popping up from the ground directly in front of a herd of elephants going for a jog to finding himself diving in front of a president to take an unsuspecting bullet, being whisked away by the blue opening just moments before every time.

Until thankfully, the orange exit he popped out of was the driveway of his home directly into Colleo's arms.

"Whoo, about time you came in! Felt like forever." He said, petting the frozen feline as he set him down.

When he did, he noticed he hasn't even moved, much less speak, and his fur was as white as a sheet. He took a step back and put a closed hand to his mouth when he saw his face was frozen into a terrified expression. "Chio, you good?"

"A-after an eternity of almost dying? No." He answered, his petrified voice barely above a whisper as he stiffly nodded before waddling upstairs back inside, a lump in the seat of his pants.

The ginger turned back to the greenette who shared his exact expression, which was confusion mixed with a glare.

"How, how long was he somewhere else?" Colleo asked.

"About five minutes," Mike answered, erasing the exit.

* * *

2\. **Kickin' it**

Three soccer balls sat separately on the ground in the park, Ryder, Leo, and Bicchiere stood ready to kick them, as they were challenged by an anonymous person. The first one to send their balls flying the farthest wins something legendary. The offer, as strange as it sounded, was too good to pass up.

However, they were vastly unaware of a few...tricks.

"Me first." Leo blurted out as he went forward and drew back his foot, sending it flying straight into his ball with all his strength. Instead of it flying off into the distance, the power of the kick made it explode into many pieces, coating the tree they were next to, the ground, and the half-Noxian in black and white slime.

"Aw, sick!" He gagged, wiping the mess out of his hair, off his face, and his shirt while he tried not to inhale the horrid stench coming from the soccer ball he kicked everywhere. "What the hell is this?!"

Ignoring the smell and the brunette's despair, Ryder took a few steps closer to his ball that seemed to shine in the sun's rays and took a step back, readying up for the kickoff. After a moment of self-preparation, he sent his steel-booted foot right into it at full speed. The second he made contact, he instantly regretted doing so as he felt an immense pain shooting up his leg as the bones from his toes to half his foot shattered. He shouted a constipated curse as he bounced around on one leg, clutching his injured foot.

"What's in that damn thing?! Felt like I kicked a goddamn bowling ball, gah!" Ryder cried as he sat down on the painted grass, his teeth grit as he now rolled around in it, paining himself in the soccer's remains. It didn't occur to him that it was indeed a bowling ball, made of titanium and painted to look like a soccer ball.

Bicchiere watched them spit curse after curse as they try to figure what happened to their balls, then back down to his, a dreadful feeling gnawing at him. He knew something was off when he received a text about this earlier, yet he felt he could be lucky and pushed it down. With a puff of his chest, the ginger brought in as much air as he could and puffed his cheeks out as he took a few steps back, keeping the sphere in his line of sight. Then, with an exhale of a spirited shout, he ran forward and threw his leg straight into the ball, sending it sailing high into the sky with a loud pop as numerous bystanders watched in slight awe.

Watching it disappear in the sky, Bicchiere felt a bit of pride fill him up when he found his ball wasn't tampered with as he turned to a few passersby clapping and cheering him on. Before he went to shake hands with one of them, the ball sailed in through the air like a bullet, right into his groin. He made a funny sound that was a mix between a wail and a squeak as he sunk to his knees, his hands palming his sore testes, not acknowledging the green-haired man rolling around on the ground in hysterics as another with blonde hair recorded the whole thing

* * *

**3\. This taste...**

At the table at Sheldon's place sat him, Nathan, Arch, and Uomo Verde, all wearing blindfolds. On the other side with plastic cups halfway full with unknown liquids sat Arthur Love who seemed more cheeky about this whole taste challenge than usual, which concerned the group sitting across from him.

"Gentlemen, pick your mysterious beverages." He directed, pushing the cups towards the three who took one. "When I give the word, you will all drink whatever's in the cup down one at a time, starting with Shelly on the left. When everyone has drank their fill, you're free to remove the blindfolds and see what you drank." 

"Uh, ok." The green man agreed, nodding as he swilled the contents around as the dotted humanoid simply hummed in acknowledgment as his wings fluttered. The pink fondue man felt uneasy about the whole thing but went with it nonetheless. He just hopes he doesn't regret this in the end, considering what this particular Noxian is capable of, especially in bed.

"Ready? Go."

Bracing himself, Sheldon gulped down the drink, his eyes closed tight as the tangy liquid coursed down his throat before he removed his blindfold. After he went, Arch drank his down as well, his dark brown eyes widening as he woah'ed excitedly. Uomo went last, savoring the taste and swilling the liquid around before swallowing it and taking off the cloth in his eyes.

"Well? Take a look underneath to find out what you've just ingested, but take heed~," Arthur sang with a mischievous smirk. "It'll taste sweet up until you've read the flavor."

Without taking consideration in his words, Uomo turned his over and blanched. The writing on the bottom said: 'expired milk with rotten ground up broccoli, topped with a hint of bug dust.'

"Oddio- urgh!" The man got out before the taste of what he read spread all over his taste buds and he doubled down on the floor, coughing up his lunch. Arch stared at the scene with pin-pricked pupils before he hesitantly turned his over and read it as well. 

"Fish guts, spoiled meat, and relish sauce?" He deadpanned before he shot out of his chair and ran for the sink, already spitting up vomit before he even bent over the sink. Sheldon, already feeling he may join the rest, decided to get it over with, and looked at the bottom of his. 'Hot sauce, watered-down ketchup, love juice, corn juice, and snot.'

"L-love juice?" He stammered, looking the grinning Noxian in the eyes like two other people aren't tossing their cookies all over the floor. "What even..." He trailed off, his expression similar to when you find you have AIDS. "Oh no..."

"Yeah, you drank my man milk, honeycakes~. Surely, the other ingredients have drowned the taste down, no?" He replied smugly, watching his muscular bf stand up and casually walk outside. There, he heard him scream for only a moment before he suddenly choked and the pinkette heard the ever-so faint sound of vomit painting the porch, all while giggling.

* * *

**4\. Gympie paintball**

Tensions ran high as Alghe snuck stealthily along the huge bush wall in the maze he and numerous others played paintball, but with a sinister twist.

The feline stilled where he treaded, hearing a few pops ring out among the area and immediately after, an agonized shriek, followed by a hearty laugh. Yep, some maniac from Australia filled all the ammunition with neurotoxin from the Gympie-Gympie tree and held a contest in which there is only one rule: Survive and make it out of the grass maze.

Heh, easier said than done. But luckily for Alghe, he specialized in this sort of thing, and mazes were no different, save for walking straight into someone's crosshairs. He held his poison-infused paintball pistol close as he rounded another corner, his ears up and twitching for footsteps or rustle of the bushes. His tail twitched and he whipped around, expecting there to be someone sneaking up on him, only to find nothing. Huffing, he continued along the path crouched on all fours with the gun in his open maw, feeling he might find a different way when his ears perk up to another set of fire and a scream.

shuddering, he took a turn into a three-way section where two contestants lay on the ground groaning in pain with dark red patches of paint on their unprotected chests, shirts, and their hair. The one on the left was identified to Regian, who had a patch of Gympie juice in his hair and his shirt. The other, Bruno Blues, had multiple patches all across his dark blue shirt and open vest. He muttered incomprehensible nonsense as he stared at the shrub wall with unfocused eyes, Alghe stepped over and gasped when he saw he had been tagged directly in the forehead where his tattoo was.

"Talk about a headshot." He muttered as he kept on straight ahead while unbeknownst to him, a purple-haired individual in spandex followed behind out of earshot with a maniacal grin spread across his face. As the cat got deeper, his alert composure began to wear down when he walked past a few more victims that laid again the shrub walls, moaning in pain. All he recognized to be Marshall, Bullone, Grassetto in his cat form, Calcio, and Epitaffio. Some of them were from his own doing when they scaled the walls to try and sneak attack him earlier.

He gave each of them an apologetic glance as he made his way down another long path before something whizzed past his ear, splattering against the soaked chest of Joyce James, who was paralyzed while trying to inject himself with what cured the neurotoxin. whipping around just in time to sidestep another one, he came face-to-face with none other than Keith Oggetto, who had Lucas James beside him.

"Guess we both won the game of Cat & Mouse, eh Luke?" He glowered, nudging the blonde's shoulder.

"Yep, and now to-," He said, aiming his weapon at Alghe, ready to pull the trigger before he was suddenly cut off by him shooting him in the center of his large jersey before he got out another word. He stumbled backward, clutching the gooey mess of plant poison as he went down, giving the feline the finger before grunting and shouting out in pain as he rolled around.

"Nice one, but I'm still here, mate." Keith complimented as he too pointed his weapon and opened fire, sending six Gympie pellets his way. Quick on his paws, Alghe ducked and jumped, dodging each one while returning fire. The purplenette scoffed and dove to the side, rolling back as the cat charged in, shooting more shots. From there, their intense battle of flinging poisoned Aussie tree paintballs at one another went like that fight between Chris and Glenn, but he's a cat in a winter jacket and Glenn's a fitness Aussie.

"Gah!" The feline grunted as a paintball grazed his tail. It didn't burst on impact, but it caught him by surprise, but Keith had already ran out of ammunition, thankfully.

Seeing his chance, Alghe goes over to deliver the final blow, but before he pulled the trigger, a paintball round hit him dead-center in his tail hole, making him jolt and push the trigger, sending his last shot into the Aussie's eye before he went down, screeching bloody murder. The person responsible for that chain effect was Dennis Moore after remaining invisible the entire time.

As the two wailed in torment, the brunette cheered, shooting a few rounds into the sky as he danced, really strutting his stuff...

Before he ended up shooting himself in the mouth. All I can say from there is that he'll be boasting about his latest win in sign language until his tongue regains functionality.

* * *

**5\. Blue + Yellow= aaAAAAAAH!**

"Yo, boss." A man in a yellow cap and jumpsuit came bursting into Lemonhead's room with something that looked close to a paint can with nozzles sticking out the top, which it was. "I got something."

Slightly annoyed by the sudden barrage of one of his men while he chatted with someone close to him, Nicholas sighed and sat up on his bed with a heavy sigh, "What is it?" He asked, eyeing the strange contraption up and down. "Looks like shit."

"I, I dunno, it was something that was dropped off at my doorstep this morning, said it was for you right here." He explained, pointing to the note taped to it as he handed it over to the boss. He took it and looked at the writing on the piece of paper.

"To Semenhead, by yours truly, Bruno." He read, his eye twitching at the inappropriate misuse of his name. "With love."

"It also has something to press at the bottom, here." The goon added, reaching forward to press the blue button while his boss looked it over. A few seconds after, the nozzle paint can started to vibrate in the blonde's hands, making him jump back and drop the thing on the floor and watch it spin around slowly. The two watch as it picked up speed, eyebrows raised in question.

"What's it doing?" Nicholas asked, scooting back when he heard the nozzles prepare to do something.

"Beats me, but I'm not sure it's gonna be very good." He answered, stepping back as well.

In just a moment, the weird canister finally stopped shaking. The two LGs stare at it, one of them confused by the weird gift while the other felt a bit of relief. Though, it was short-lived when it suddenly spun around, spewing blue paint from each of its four nozzles, coating Lemonhead, his goon, and his entire yellow-themed room in nothing but blue. It cycled around a few times, spraying everyone in its radius a few times before it stopped at last.

The blonde just sat there, rubbing the weirdly stinging paint from his eyes while his breathing got heavier with each exhale while the other, his jumpsuit and hat now a vivid sapphire shared his exact feeling before he started scratching at his chest and head as all that the contraption hit began to melt into a pear green. Nicholas's hair and clothes did the same as the stinging turned to burning and he doubled down, yelling and cursing as he rubbed his eyes.

"Gh-graaah! Damn you, ya bitch-made blue-sucking prick!" He screamed, shaking his fist in the air.

Meanwhile, in the ingot headquarters, Bruno and a few of his men could barely breathe from all the hysteric laughing they did as they rewatched the now-viral video of a snot-haired man in yellow and blue went around his house, rubbing his body against anything that could scratch while screaming out every curse in the sailor dictionary.

"Oh! Oh! Oh, golly!" He cried, wiping a tear from his eye. "I knew chlorine mixed well with paint, I knew it!"


End file.
